We can be thankful that 4 Non Blondes only made one album- 1992’s Bigger, Better, Faster, More! - but it’s a doozy, a mess of classic rock wails and faux bluesiness. See also: Can an Intelligent Person Like Phish? Also, there’s the fact that the Dead never composed these lyrics: “Down with disease/ Up before the dawn/ A thousand barefoot children outside dancing on my lawn.” -Elano Pizzicarola Phish is supposed to be the next generation’s Grateful Dead, right? But with the Dead, one at least enjoyed a fighting chance of enjoying them sober. See also: Liam Gallagher On His Brother Noel: “I’d Rather Eat My Own Shit Than Be In A Band With Him Again” What’s next, hair-pulling and time-outs? But mainly because courting comparisons to the Beatles is always lame, no exceptions. Because their backstage altercations always boiled down to sibling rivalry. “Champagne Supernova,” anyone? Because they’ve been caught ripping off other artists’ songs, including Stevie Wonder, The New Seekers, and Neil Innes. Because they combine simple composition with over-the-top production and pretentious length. Why is Oasis among the worst? Because Liam Gallagher only plays tambourine and possesses the single most nasal voice in pop. They call themselves “a new band made from old friends,” but it’s more accurate to call them “slumming dudes attempting to trick fans of the White Stripes into liking their boring, awful, music.” Track “Consoler of the Lonely” repeats the phrase “I am bored to tears” six times, which is only a small fraction of how often everyone else was saying it. Nicholas Pellįormed in the late aughts, The Raconteurs consist of Jack White and some other guys. Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in. Forget Chris Barron’s scraggly beard the real problem with the Spin Doctors is their enduring lightweight retro “jam” song legacy on crappy corporate radio. The mere mention of tracks like “Two Princes” create an earworm so powerful that you’re going to need to see an ENT doctor. When you think it’s finally gone, it rears its ugly head again. You get infected at a young age when you don’t know any better. Ben Westhoffĭid you know that Blues Traveler’s John Popper used to be a member of this damn group? That may explain why a Spin Doctors song is a bit like herpes.
As with our top 20 greatest musicians of all time and top 20 hair metal albums of all time lists, we take this shit very seriously, even enlisting objective third party analysts to review our findings for accuracy. And so in that spirit we present the worst bands of all time. Because, even if you’re composed of ladies, it takes balls to make music that is simultaneously pretentious and dopey, derivative and uniquely craptastic. Only, some of the below groups possess testicles only in the symbolic sense. What makes a terrible band? Is it being prepared to do the wrong thing, whatever the price? That and a pair of testicles. Top 20 Musicians of All Time, in Any Genre
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